(Originally given under the name Chinna Kistna Rajasaheb Bahadur B.A., LL.B.)
Saraswath, aged about 50, Interior of India 11th June, 1936.
It was probably in 1912 that I went up to Shirdi on some festive occasion (Guru Poornima?). I saw the devotees at Manmad each having a grand basket with flower garlands etc. I was much pained to note that I had forgotten to take a flower garland when I was going to my Guru, who was everything to me. We all went to Shirdi and at the mosque, I found Baba was under a great weight of flower garlands and it pained me again that I had not a garland to give him. Baba lifted up a bundle of the garlands with his hand and said, "All these are yours". How kind of Baba! What love was his to me! -all forgiving, all forgetting love!
About the same year 1912, I had taken Rs. 100 with me to Shirdi in my pocket. Sai Baba asked me for dakshina (Rs.40). I readily gave it. A little later he asked for another 40 rupees and that too was given with equal readiness and joy. Finally he asked me for the remaining 20 and that also I gave him. I was happy to give him all that - though I was left without a pie in the result. Then again Baba sent for me and asked me for dakshina. I said I had nothing to give. Then he suggested that I should go and get money from some others. I agreed but told Baba that if he should indicate whom I was to go to, I would gladly go and ask him. Baba said, "Go to Shama". I went to Mr.Madhav Rao Deshpande (Shama) and told him what took place and asked him for money. He replied that I had not understood Baba right. "Does Baba care a rap for your rupees? " he said, "No, what he wants is your mind and heart, your time and soul to be devoted to him. That is his meaning". I went back to Baba and reported what Shama had said. Then Baba smiled and said, "Go to Dixit and ask him". I went to Mr. Dixit and told him of what Baba had bidden me to do. He then replied that Baba's direction to me had to be understood in the circumstances as a lesson to me that I should not feel absence of money or the begging for money or for anything else to be a humiliation, and that I should not esteem myself to be above begging. I went back and reported Dixit's reply to Baba. He smiled and then asked me to go to Nana Saheb Chandorkar and ask him for a loan. I went to Khandoba's temple where Nana Saheb Chandorkar was reading some religious books with the learned K.Upasani Sastri. I went and told Nana Saheb all that had occurred and Baba's order that I should approach him for money. Nana Saheb at once showed his worldly wisdom. He said that he knew how delicate the situation was when Baba asked for dakshina and there was nothing to be given to him to satisfy him and that I should learn his plans and ways. "Whenever I go to Shirdi", he said, "I start with a certain sum, and leave a half at Kopergaon, i.e., on this occasion I came with Rs.200 out of which I have left Rs.100 at Kopergaon and come down to Shirdi with only Rs.100. It is very painful to say 'No' when Baba asks for money. So I go on giving dakshina out of the stock in hand to Baba and when it is exhausted, I send for the reserve at Kopergaon. You must act like this". I went back to Baba and then told him what Nana said. While I sat there, Baba sent for Nana and asked him for dakshina of Rs.40. He paid it and went away. Again he sent for him and asked for Rs.40 more. That was paid and again Nana was sent for and the last amount was paid up and at once he sent some one to Kopergaon for his reserve fund. Then Baba at once wanted more. Nana felt humiliated at having to say, 'No', as there was no time for the Kopergaon reserve to arrive. The lesson that then taught to him, to me, and to all was that it was presumption on the part of any one to think that he himself was the great Providence supplying the needs of Baba, or that any one could supply all that Baba might ask for. Thus Baba showed me how differently the demand for dakshina was interpreted by devotees. The real explanation of Baba's demand in this case was not what Shama, Dixit or Nana said it was. It was evidently to teach lessons to me, Nana etc. Baba really cared nothing for money or for presents. What he really wanted was, love - deep, intense, passionate, wholehearted love. To give him that was my aim. He knew it and read it in my heart and responded to it - as only he could respond.