(Originally given under the name Chinna Kistna Rajasaheb Bahadur B.A., LL.B.)
Saraswath, aged about 50, Interior of India 11th June, 1936.
It was probably in 1915 Ramanavami, when intending to go to Shirdi, I went into the Indore cloth bazaar to fix upon a present - worthy of being presented to Baba. I found a fine lace-embroidered muslin of the Dacca type, produced at Chander. It was some 5 feet square with embroidered body and 8 or 9 inches of lace border all round. It was very nice and worth the 85 rupees I paid for it. It could be folded into 6" x 6" x 1" packet. I took it with me to Shirdi and kept it inside my shirt. Devotees usually go and present Baba with cloth in order that the same may be returned to them with Baba's blessings; and the same is returned to them. In my case, I had made up my mind that if Baba cared for my love (which knew no difference between him and me) he should not return the same to me but should retain it and wear it. When each devotee went and presented his cloth, it would be openly bestowed and placed on Baba and then at the end, the attendants would call out, "Whose is this" and return it. In order to avoid the return, I had taken my tiny packet and when I bowed to Baba, I slyly shoved the packet under his mattress (gadi). When all clothes were taken and returned, none noticed what was beneath the gadi. Baba got up and said "Clear off all that lies on the gadi and dust it". When the mattress was removed, there was the muslin packet. Baba picked it up and said, "Hello, What is this? Muslin!" and spread it out and said, "I am not going to return this. This is mine". He then put it round his body and said to me, "Don't I look nice in this?" I was immensely happy as his loving heart had fulfilled my request for the acceptance and retention of the present - as an index of the fact that I was not different from him - that I and he were one. I was not different from him. I and he were really one.
Our unity was expressly granted, in another way and at another time by Baba - about the same year.
I had gone to Shirdi and was staying as usual at Ayi's. In the afternoon, when Baba was alone, he sent some one to fetch me and after dismissing the messenger from his presence, he was very kind to me, made me sit close to him, embraced me, and said "The key of my treasury is now placed in your hands. Ask anything you want, e.g., Rs.5 or Rs. 100 a month, or what you like and I will give it to you". I felt at once that this was a temptation and declined to ask for anything. Sai Baba knew what was necessary, good or useful for me and it was for him to decide and give or withhold. It was not for me to ask. Seeing my disinclination to ask, he held me by the chin and coaxed me into asking him for something. Then I asked, "Is it agreed Baba, that you will grant anything I ask for?" "Yes" was his answer. "Then Baba," I replied, "I want this, in this and in any future birth that may befall on me you should never part from me. You should always be with me.'' And he patted me joyously and said, "Yes I shall be with you, inside you, and outside you, whatever you may be or do." I was supremely happy. I feel that he is always with me. At times, he visibly shows his form to reassure me or guide me.
Many years later, I lost a child in a building which had numerous occupants. My wife was greatly depressed and started weeping. I assured her that Baba did only what was good for us and had taken away that child and so we should not weep and attract a crowd. I asked her to sleep till morning when the funeral would take place. She could not bear the sight of the corpse, and so I took it on myself and she went to lie down. Then when I had the corpse on my lap, Baba appeared to me, took me out and said, "Do you want me or the dead child? Choose. You cannot have both. If you want me to revive the child, I will; but then you will have me no more with you. If you do not want revival, you will have many children in due course." I had no hesitation in telling him that I wanted him. "Then do not grieve", he said and vanished. It is thus he encourages me when the occasion needs it, even by his presence. All my needs are met by Baba's grace. I do not trouble him with prayers for my worldly gains or support. I have my income and property and insurance and I am content with the provision for the present and future. If any need arises, I find that somehow the money comes up. I have nothing to complain of. Finally if I am asked what I would suggest to one who wished to find out how he (not having met Sai Baba in the flesh) could make himself a devotee of Sai Baba and get his help, my answer will be that he should sit wholeheartedly and try to pour his heart in love to Sai Baba. It is not essential that he should go to Shirdi for that purpose - though Shirdi associations are undoubtedly helpful. All that he should do is to transcend the senses and concentrate with love on Sai Baba. He would surely reach and obtain the help of Sai Baba - to obtain all that he is fit to achieve or receive.